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Anonymous asked: Dr. Chillgood,
I recently got found out that one of my friends is cheating on her spouse. I don't know the spouse or the dude she's cheating with. Do I have an obligation to either be chill with the spouse and tell him OR be chill with the friend and keep it on the DL?
Thanks,
Chillapalooza

While that is very unchill behavior to cheat on your spouse, it’s probably for the best not to get involved.  Especially not knowing your friend’s spouse.  Maybe she does know? 

You have no obligation to do anything.  Their relationship is their issue, not yours.  Even though you may think it’s wrong.

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Anonymous asked: Dr Chillgood,
I've got a major problem. My beautiful 19 yr old daughter is dating a total bottom feeding loser. She she works and shares an apt with two other girls (her loser boyfriend has been kicked out of his own house by his parents and then by his room mates when he moved in with to their apt. He doesn't work and our daughter is constantly hitting us up for loans for gas and rent (which I know she can't pay back) because she is "helping" this scum suckin butt nugget. Her friends can't stand him and now her friends are avoiding her. I'd love to beat the living hell out of him but he's not worth the bail money my wife and I would have to put out to get me out of jail for assualt. What am I to do...?

Yours,
Thinking of places to hide a body

This is tough.  She’s 19 so she needs to make her own decisions, however, since you are giving her money she’s not entirely independent (What’s up Destiny’s Child)

Have you voiced your concerns to her about this guy?  Other than cutting off her money there’s not a whole lot you can do.  And if you do that she may resent you.

She’s 19, she’ll probably date a few guys you don’t like, but hopefully she’ll realize he sucks sooner than later.

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Anonymous asked: Let's say you and your chill co-workers are having a chill lunch discussion. One co-worker spots your sandwich and says, totally unprompted, "Your sandwich looks totally disgusting." What do you say? How do you react?

Tell them that your sandwich is too next level for them to truly understand, and until they get on your level, no commenting on your sandwiches.

(sandwiches are serious business)

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Anonymous asked: My roommate got a kitten a couple of months ago. When she asked if it was ok to get a cat I said yes, and immediately came to regret it. It turns out I'm really allergic to it, and also I'm used to having a really chill cat; this one is totally unchill opposite. I don't understand why she even has it - she's constantly pissed off with the way he bites and scratches (people and things) and stays at her boyfriend's so that I'm stuck feeding and dealing with him. How do I tell her that she really needs to get rid of her cat, when she's paid to have him and I signed the agreement?

This question and situation bums me out big time.

Obviously when you agreed to your roommate getting a cat it was implied that your roommate would be taking care of the cat.

The cat may be acting out because he’s being neglected by it’s owner, and that is no fault of the cat. 

Sit down and chat with the roomie, let her know that it is not your responsibility to take care of the cat.  That cats need love and attention and unless she does that she is voiding her section of the agreement.

I hope things work out for you and the cat.

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brian-k asked: Dr. Chillgood,

Should I start Vince Young in fantasy football this week, or should I pick up David Garrard?

Garrard vs the Bills is intriguing.  VY against Dallas could be a tough matchup.

Fuck it, go Garrard

First things first, sending unsolicited pictures of your genitals to anyone is beyond unchill.  So he most definitely is not.
Favre has no idea what the word ‘chill’ means or entails, it sounds like he’s using it to appear ‘down’ with the kids (who he was ya know, sending unsolicited cock shots too)
I’m not sure that Deadspin needs to publish the photos, but that’s their (Denton really) perogative.  But when the story initially came out, other than the typical handwashing from all the other sports bloggers (who really are just piggy backing off of Deadspin for pageview) ‘mainstream media’ ignored the story.
So if they have to publish the pictures for it to take hold, that’s not neccesarily a bad thing, especially if it brings to light any other instances of this, or brings up some discussion on athlete behavior.  (Hi Ben Rothlisburger)

First things first, sending unsolicited pictures of your genitals to anyone is beyond unchill.  So he most definitely is not.

Favre has no idea what the word ‘chill’ means or entails, it sounds like he’s using it to appear ‘down’ with the kids (who he was ya know, sending unsolicited cock shots too)

I’m not sure that Deadspin needs to publish the photos, but that’s their (Denton really) perogative.  But when the story initially came out, other than the typical handwashing from all the other sports bloggers (who really are just piggy backing off of Deadspin for pageview) ‘mainstream media’ ignored the story.

So if they have to publish the pictures for it to take hold, that’s not neccesarily a bad thing, especially if it brings to light any other instances of this, or brings up some discussion on athlete behavior.  (Hi Ben Rothlisburger)

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Anonymous asked: http://foundmagazine.com/find/17206

lol, you?

ha!

That is not me, but I have left very similar messages before.  If I crash somewhere, I am almost always gone before whoever’s house I’m at is awake.  I don’t like imposing, so I usually leave a note for them.

My bros in college called it Sasquatching, because the day after the party everyone would know that they saw you, but weren’t really 100% sure.  Like the mysterious Sasquatch or Yeti.

If your bro gives you a place to crash, it is definitely important to thank your bro for being chill and promoting safe partying.

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jakec asked: Dr. Chillgood, you should know that I respect you and the advice you give, which has largely been pretty fucking chill. On a scale of chillness you're like a taco surfboard with dank filling. But bro, I have to ask, where did you get your Ph.D in Chillology? Because your answer to bmichael is DANGEROUS. Drinking does not warm you up, it just expedites hypothermia. http://firstaid.about.com/od/heatcoldexposur1/f/07_alcohol_warm.htm

I'm sure you knew this already though and you were just kidding, so it's all good.

Thanks bro!

Doctor Chillgood is not a medical doctor.  For medical concerns please see your local physician (or Webmd)

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dylvez asked: My wife always gets pissed off at me when I cough after a bong rip. Now, it's not like I cough every time, but her contention is that since I'm a professional pot smoker (game recognizes game), I shouldn't be coughing at all, and should better regulate the intake. I'm all, well no shit, but it doesn't always work out that way. What should I do? It makes for some rather unchill sesh-ing.

Even the chillest most seasoned smoker on the planet coughs from time to time.  (yours truly did last night)

Maybe add a few ice cubes to your water (if you can to make the smoke smoother) or try making some weed butter and consumables if it’s a huge problem.

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Anonymous asked: Doctor,
Since it's Tumblr Tuesday I'd really like to recommend you for the Tumblr directory, sadly the directory doesn't have a section for 'chill ass bros' what section should we put you in?
Confused in Cincy

Hey bro, that’s very kind of you. 

I wish they had a ‘chill ass bro’ section and a .gif section too, but since they don’t, I guess ‘personalities’